?

Log in

Journal Title
Subtitle
recent 
10th-May-2012 08:37 pm - Sadfase
freud
Man I wish I knew how to do things.

Today, I learned that the "shoujo" manga genre consists of super drama and love stories so sweet it's vulgar. How do people come up with these ideas? Those stories would never happen in real life. Then again, the main characters are 15-18 year olds and there are stereotypes about the unadulterated love of youth.

Blah blah blah.

Also, all of these journal entries are damn boring yet angsty and incoherent.
10th-May-2012 02:56 pm - Bootcamp for your brain
freud
Why are people so mean here? It's making me sad.
GET BACK TO WORK.
My SO just left me :(
GET BACK TO WORK.
Why do those assholes keep teasing me.
GET BACK TO WORK.
I really miss X. It's tearing me apart. I can't eat or sleep, much less work.
GET BACK TO WORK.
I feel sick, like I'm going to puke.
GET BACK TO WORK.
I can't stand this place.
GET BACK TO WORK.
I can't remember the last time I laughed because I felt like it.
GET BACK TO WORK.
I'm too tired to work. I spent all night on a project that didn't turn out right.
GET BACK TO WORK.
:((((((((((((9
GET BACK TO WORK.
My back hurts. I've been sitting too much.
GET BACK TO WORK.
It's so nice outside.
GET BACK TO WORK.
I don't think I have friends anymore.
GET BACK TO WORK.

GET BACK TO WORK.

Etc.
26th-Apr-2012 01:21 am - everywhere
freud
THERE IS DUST EVERYWHERE AUGHHH
YOUR DUST
80% SKIN
I DON'T VISIBLY SHED
BUT A SHOWER OF FLAKES FLIES INTO THE AIR WHEN YOU DUMP YOURSELF ON MY BED
FLAKES AND HAIR COAT MY CLOTHES
THE SANDLION EMERGES FROM BED EVERY MORNING
AND BY SANDLION I MEAN FLAKELION
omg I want to sleep :((((((((((((((((9999999
26th-Apr-2012 12:56 am - GUHHH I AM SO FUCKED
freud
Physical inorganic chemistry, wooo. What the hell was I thinking; I don't even know quantum mechanics. Doing so badly on the psets. Having to check constantly if they're posted is not good because I forget and they always blindside me >_> all nighters. All nighters. Hnggggg....
PSET DUE TOMORROW
BEGINNING OF CLASS
8:30 AM
SO EARLY
SO LATE
SO SCREWED

WHAT IS THIS MADNESS THAT HARKENS TWEEN MY EVERY SIGHT AND EVERY THOUGHT, WAKEFUL OR NOT. WHERE IS THIS HAPPY YOUTH I SO LONGED FOR, NOW BUT A GNAWING WISH FILLING MY EVERY DAY, TEARING AT THE HEART LEFT TO ROT SO LONG AGO. NO LONGER DO I SEEK TO LIVE BUT TO PASS. YET THIS SICKENING APATHY BARS MY COMPLETE DESCENT AS A FILM ON THE WATER. I SLOWLY PASS AND FEEL THE WHEELS OF TIME DISPERSING THE LAST FLECKS OF MY SOUL TO THE VOID, AND I CANNOT BRING MYSELF TO CARE TO MOURN THEIR PASSING. HERE TO PASS AND NOTHING MORE. SOON, GONE.

But not really because I have work to do -_-;;
16th-Nov-2011 11:42 pm - 've
freud
It seems unfortunate that most societies raise females under the model that they be weak when in reality women undergo harder lives, i.e. single mothering, childbirth, physical inferiority, etc).
24th-Oct-2010 08:09 pm - In the end,
freud
lawl
11th-Oct-2010 03:27 am - with 19191985
freud
It's not that late, but I need to close the window shades and turn on all the lights and turn on some music to hide the fact that normal people sleep at this hour and holy crap oh yes this caffeine is finally kicking in and I need to finish this goddamn technical report and what the hell am I really going to pull an all nighter to finish this and is that going to come back to kick me in the face later and goddamn I don't want to pull an all nighter for work like all last year and this better not happen again and the need to satisfy bodily functions is so inconvenient and TIME TO PRETEND IT'S NOT TOO LATE SO HEY LET'S GO WORK ON THAT PAPER
26th-Jul-2010 12:34 am - Short nights
freud
Oh body chemistry, brain chemistry, what have you. Work. Almost want to ragequit.

Good quotations from today, or some recnet period of time, for I have lost the ability to intuit time.
"Dammit, why does the earth have to be simply connected?"
Well, that wasn't plural. Well, darn.
13th-Jul-2010 12:30 am - But not as old as you are...
freud
It seems that my lab flooded over the weekend, as well as my dorm, its courtyard, and a large portion of campus. Not sure how this works, since at the lab, at least three floors were flooded, and there were still puddles around. It rained heavily on Saturday, but that was two days ago...

It seems...Mit is weak against water.
WEATHER used RAINY DAY

There's a picturesque sitting area outside Hayden, a little isolated spot that may have popped out of a classic French resort outdoor dining area were it not esconced by tall glass and concrete walls behind which lie a greater institvte of not leisure, but learning. The textured stone ground was flooded with several inches of clear water. It struck me as more charming than usual, and I totally wanted to walk out there and wade around in the water shoeless like an idiot. That sounds fun. But like nearly every day of last term, I turned my head toward the place with a constant angular change with respect to distance, and stopped momentarily to admire the rustic slice of ground. Without having even deshoed and jumped into the gleaming puddles, I realized I probably looked like an idiot standing there in my jacket and rolled-up-jeans-because-why-do-they-make-jeans-longer-than-most-people's-legs-unless-you're-super-tall-and-super-skinny and backpack with a random cardboard box sticking out of it.

Today's high reached the 80s or 90s and I was wearing a jacket. Who worked in a giant refridgerator today and is naturally endothermic and hates the cold and has "making my own body heat" on her list of "things I am bad at"? Heck yeah.

Also, there are a bunch of middle school-looking young-uns populating this room on my floor in lab. Ignorance is bliss. They unlikely realize that behind those orange doors lining the hall they chase each other down are agents of horror movies, like HF and GIANT LASERS. HF is scary stuff ;_;

They look so young...Good ole days. I get a similiar feeling looking at those kids in the campus daycare, except with those middle schoolers, it's slightly singed with disdain at their raucous immaturity. What the hell, playing tag in a lab where there are warning signs everywhere, and people carrying flasks of mystery liquid? They should know better. Piaget claims that they would have developed concrete thinking skills by then >_>

I am old ;_;
5th-Jul-2010 12:46 am - It's always mating season
freud
I'm sick and tired of these lonely nights, training myself not to care~
It's an Interpol song quotation, which means that it's okay to say depressing things because I wasn't the one who thought of it. :D

Geeze what's with all these fruit flies. I don't even work in a bio lab for Pete's sake. And what the hell am I doing in lab.

AND YES IT'S THE FOURTH OF JULY. Or was, a few minutes ago.

Uhh yeah so I did watch the fireworks. They're really not something to watch alone, as much as the bright lights and loud noises and human stench drown out any feeble thought process repeated asking, "wait how did this happen, no srsly bro I AIN'T FOOLIN'". It's one of those things I decided to do at the last minute, but when 800k people congregate along the banks of a river as to pose enough of a threat to induce the physical plant manager to send out a warning email to lock the labs, you can't just show up and find a good spot. Or find the few people you know.

Maybe it's the idea of failing to enjoy life as other people would. Personal preference, to each their own, but lolsociety.
freud
Uhh...I guess I played Guitar Hero for seven hours today...Oops.

I am so bad at it. Can barely make it through some songs in Hard, whereas I can think of five people off the top of my head on my hall who can play in expert, and two who try to FC stuff.
16th-Jun-2010 12:59 am - 40 Governors
freud
What, do I have depression or something. OH WAIT. Tiredness might be from spending 11 hours in lab yesterday fruitlessly and frustratingly. Painting copper wire with Sally Hansen nail poish? Hell yeah. Also I should buy some food. Haven't done that since returning to MIT and mostly have been eating free food. Also, CHARLES CAME BACK!!! I HATE MYSELF FOR BEING THIS EXCITED!!! Hell if I have a chance with him, but Sam reminded me to ask and made me remember and be sad about it again. I was okay until that happened. RAGE. Problematically, it seems like I want some sort of romantic relationship, but I don't have the balls to ask out anyone I like because I can be more awkward than turtle, moose, and cow combined.
18th-May-2010 03:27 am - Sanity will only impede you
freud
The hours are sprinting in slow motion and it's driving me insane.

That, and some other things of course.
14th-Mar-2010 06:44 am - Idea!
freud
Oh man! I'm going to try to be in the Miss Ugly Pageant! I'll probably lose, but still!

You can tell I've been up a little too long.

:D
14th-Mar-2010 05:29 am - Blame it on the a-a-a-a-
freud
I'm nineteen years old and in college. How did that happen? It was all so sudden.

Gah.

Right now I'm taking a break from my 3.094 project to contemplate recent actions and thoughts I happen to be brooding at the moment. It's five anti-meridiano, but I'm sure a lot of other people at my school are still awake, namely my friends at Next House, who may be crossdressing in each others' clothes, as occasionally occurs in the wee hours, partly because they are nocturnal. My hall is pretty dead at the moment, but not significantly more than usual. Even so, checking and finding 5:xx AM is still disturbing and has historically led to all nighters, according to my sufficiently large sample size.

Aluminum processing is pretty intersting. Processing uses one percent of the US's entire electricity consumption, wth. It's just that...there are more personal trivialities distracting me.

You know what I did last night? It's kind of weird, but not terribly out of character. Well, scratch that. I mean, I go to parties now lolwhat. So there was a party on the hall above mine, and I went up there with two guys on my hall dressed all skanky-like, since it was a two pieces of clothing themed party. Except it wasn't remotely skanky even for normal situations and overdressed by a factor of two.

We danced to bad music as usual, and a certain one of my hallmates got a pretty girl to dance with. Some guy whom I sort of know pulled me into a group of people dancing together and pushed one of the guys I was with out of the way when he wanted to squeeze next to me, which would block that guy. Then the group broke up and I just went along when dude started grinding. Making out maybe. I'm not sure what it's called, having grown up in a household led by super conservative parents. It was an interesting experience, I guess. It also felt like he could've been trying to eat my face when he started kissing me, but he's probably good at it since I didn't feel any teeth and people say that's a good thing. But eww. Kissing....eww... How old am I again??

When the music stopped, the guy took my hand and led me down the hall until the exit when I finally told him I'd rather...um..."not". Ha. I'm not sure if he likes me. And by like I mean want to have sex with of course. Well, no, that last part is a no brainer. He stares at me a lot but then again MAYBE HE'S JUST A NICE GUY.

Either way, I returned to hall with a normal looking hickey on the left side of my neck, and some four inch exotic centipede looking monstrosity on the right. What a delicate touch he has... Then I took a shower. Woo. I hope it goes away by next week when I'll visit my dad. Nice going, me.

P.S. I AM MAKING A BIG DEAL OUT OF THIS BECAUSE IT'S THE FIRST TIME. Which is kind of pathetic, really, but that is a-okay!
30